It’s My baby and I’ll have One if I want to!

I get scared to ask for ketchup sometimes in restaurants. It’s some kind of social awkwardness , I get all hot and bothered and psyche myself up then just  smile when the waiter comes over.

I’m getting better but my poor husband and best friend have really bore the brunt of this little issue over the past 20 years (sorry guys)

Let’s imagine that ketchup is one end of the scale, then in the middle we can have people who comment on your lunch whilst your eating it, with phrases such as ‘ew what is that!’ ‘Omg I could never eat that!’ and, my personal  favourite ‘I’m sorry but that looks foul’ Then right at the other end  of our scale reside the people who have no problems in asking all about why you haven’t had another baby yet.

I have been keeping tally for two weeks, and do you know how many times I have been asked, 11, 11 times!

I don’t think it’s the question so much, but the guff that comes after it ‘Won’t your daughter be lonely’ ‘She will end up spoilt’ ‘I think you’ll regret it’ ‘I felt like that till I had my 12th’ ‘But they need a brother and sister’ .

My response to all this is simple. Piss off.

I am not a sensitive flower, I am an open person and it takes a lot to offend me. But the suggestion that my daughter will end up some pampered , damaged, lonely, un-supported brat if I don’t have another child makes me fume.

We have no right to question one of the most intimate and private decisions that a couple have to make. It is absolutely none of our business.  We do not need to  know why any one has zero children, one child, three children or ten.

There are people in my life who dying to become parents. People who are having the most horrendous time. There are people in my life who can’t imagine having any children,  it isn’t for them. There are people in my life who just can’t and every time they are asked it is like the knife is twisted a bit deeper. There are people who are un-decided. There are people who are on their fourth and may only stop when the eggs run out.

And you know what it never was and it never will be any of our business.

 

 

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The Salute – A Women’s Day Poem.

To you,  for carrying on even when your heart was being ripped from your soul

To you, for being the best mother to a child that needs you more than we can ever imagine

To you, for fighting a battle that is unfair and cruel and that I know has torn the sparkle from your eyes

To you, who turned a horrendous negative into a beautiful positive

To you, who stayed for all those years . I understand now

To you, who anxiety tried to drown,

To you, who is waking and facing the dark beast everyday through red stained lips

To you, whose knowledge and need to help others inspires me

To you, who blames yourself for something that can never, ever, be your fault

To you, who came out the other side and got your fairytale

And to you, who made me realise what ‘I’d die for you’ really means

I salute you

The Heroines of my world xxx