When you write I think your ears become sensitive to things around you. You listen for interesting conversations that create a spark in you and make you want to write or express your own opinions. Lately I have been listening for positives. Mainly for people being positive about themselves or others. I heard plenty of people being nice to others (or at least pretending to be in any case!) What I didn’t hear was anyone being nice about themselves.
I know , I know , at the moment I am on some sort of crusade about people being nice to each other , I haven’t gone soft, don’t worry I will be ranting again soon! but I can’t get away from the fact that whilst we seem to be ok being (mainly!) nice to each other our biggest struggle is being nice to ourselves. We just can’t do it can we!
So I decided to ask people. I put a post up on my Facebook – audience over 100 and a post on my Instagram page – audience of over 500. I asked family and friends and looked out for people posting positives about themselves on social media etc.
These are the responses:
‘I am actually a lot cooler than I think I am’
‘I am the glue that brings my friends together’
‘I am a really good mother’
‘I am caring and good with animals’.
That is it. Honestly . That is it.
I have to say I am not surprised. Our everyday vocabulary seems to focus on negative,failings and running a flipping mile when anybody dares to compliment us!
Have a listen in your staff rooms and women’s toilets (in a mindful way obvs, no one wants to be that weird girl in the bogs!) I bet you can hear plenty of people saying things like ‘I can’t believe I came out looking like this today’ or I can’t do this or I am rubbish at that. My make up is awful! Look at my hair blah blah blah.
Time to change it up ladies and start switching the vocab! I have never been one to hide my light under a bushel and I’m damn sure that I am going to teach my daughter to say thank you to a compliment rather than play it down or rubbish it completely.
In case you need reminding, it is not vain to say ‘yes it does’ when someone says your hair is looking fabulous. It is not self -absorbed to say ‘yes I am’ when some one says your good at something and it is more than bloody ok to tell people you have a skill or strength when they are asking for it!
Example ‘ Oh I really need some advice about pairing stripes and leopard print’
You could reply with ‘ I wore that at the weekend, probably looked like a total tosser so don’t ask me!’
Or you could try
‘actually I wore a banging outfit that mixed the two together at the weekend, I think it’s about having the right tone of leopard print and a slightly larger stripe, I can help you if you like’
Because Let’s face it putting ourselves down for so long hasn’t worked has it………… x