If I’m going to get back to a happy place with how I feel about myself I guess I should try and work out what went a bit sqew whiff (and when did I start using the phrase sqew whiff) I’ve been mulling this over, and I can assure you I have also mulled it over a few to many glasses of red and packets of salt and vinegar extra crunchy, when did we get so bloody obsessed with ourselves? I don’t think I’ve ever been so self obsessed since I got fat, but I also want to know why being fat makes me so unhappy and why is it scares the living day lights out of people.
One of the problems I think is that I don’t fit into the morbidly obese catergory, I’m chubby, a bit of all belly and boobs. I can still wear outfits that resemble some sort of fashion statement (when I’m not wallowing in my own self pity) and I can still shop in high street stores. So this makes me more invisible and prone to those god awful comments like’ well your not like those big huge people are you’ ‘you do exaggerate’ and my upmost favourite ‘well your not as big as -insert name here-‘
The point that keeps screaming at me is that it is about you inside, the you that is the voice in your head that tells you if your happy or not. You don’t have to be fat, you don’t have to be skinny, if you don’t think your an 8 outta 10 anymore then you’re the one who needs to help yourself. It might be to loose weight, it might be to gain weight, it might be to dump that loser you’ve been carrying round for the past 6 years like a cheap handbag, but it’s you and your own personal journey.
I’ve set a little date in my mind to try and loose some of this extra baggage, because for me and my inside voice that’s where I want to start. I’ve picked a Tuesday because I have a firm belief that Monday is shit enough without trying to be a healthy goddess as well.
The more the blog post ideas come flowing the more i think this journey is going to be a lot more than just dropping a dress size.
So Tuesday 2nd of February it is then…..