I’ve stopped giving a shit

I was on the first sip of coffee, my first.

My daughter was still asleep and I thought I would have a mooch on social media. Now without naming names I was looking at what I would consider to be the three biggest ones.

About half a cup in I realised that I had wasted a good ten minutes of my life reading the same old story, women desperate to lose their baby bellies before their holidays in six weeks, women weighing in and berating themselves for having a meal with friends as it put a 1lb on. Delete delete delete delete delete.

And in my inbox from one said site, 3 messages from a well known herb type weight loss bollocks company asking me if I want a free sample. Delete delete delete delete delete .

NO! I want to drink my coffee and not be bombarded with how much we aren’t good enough, or how much we are trying to be something that we’re not or how we just aren’t thin or beautiful enough. Delete delete delete delete .

Lately I’ve been look at body confidence pages, plus size model pages and healthy eating sites as opposed to specific ‘weight loss’ sites. The messages have been completely different. In particular I find the plus size models accounts to be full of, first be happy then if your not happy with your body change it. There is gym ideas and healthy meal plans of course. But nothing comes before being happy and self acceptance.

As I’ve travelled along my journey I’ve realised something very important. I forgot that I actually like me . And I also realised how shitty I’ve been treating myself. I truly believe as well that by surrounding my self with these messages from the world portraying how I should be feeling and how I should be looking I’ve added to the self loathing.

I feel  at the moment the best I have in months, I’ve been focusing on looking after me and making efforts to do things that give me body confidence. Painting my nails, tanning and wearing all those outfits I love and had forgotten how great they make me feel.

I am in love with the phrase ‘healthy is the new skinny’ and you want to know the craziest part : I’ve lost weight. Now if that’s not a contradiction in terms I don’t know what is.

k xx

 

 

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