When the day decides …

When the day decides it’s done. It’s gives way to the night. No questions, no time, it just happens. I guess death is a bit like that isn’t it. It comes. It takes its victims and then the cycle starts again.

I’m not sure what I want to say in this post. I’m not even sure why I am writing it. You’ll never read it. But that’s the beauty of life isn’t it. No one really knows a thing.

I stood at the top of a massive inflatable slide today. I wasn’t going to go down. I was scared. Then I thought of you. I thought about how the day had decided it was your turn for night and that actually tomorrow isn’t promised to me just as it wasn’t promised to you.

So I went down it, and you know what, I got a bloody friction burn and in some weird and bonkers way, I think it was you telling me something. Probably you telling me I deserved it but nonetheless I did laugh at the bottom.

Maybe you didn’t believe in signs, maybe you didn’t really believe in anything anymore. But all I know is that your passing wasn’t a sign I wanted. I don’t want to be reminded there is so much to live for. I want for once for life to be fair, good things to happen to good people.

No one ever really knows what’s in your head do they. No one can ever really know the pain or the happiness. I’m sorry we didn’t sort it out, I’m sorry I couldn’t fix you. And most of all I’m sorry I was so stubborn, But as you once said it makes us who we are.

I’m going to say sweet dreams to you now. Make sure you wear those pasta swirls wherever you are x

All my love, always and forever, and always part of the pineapple crew x

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